


Music in the Midst of Desolation

by alexcat



Series: For the Fallen [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 23:49:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18974809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Steve wants to help Thor after he returns from New Asgard.





	Music in the Midst of Desolation

**Author's Note:**

> Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal  
> Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,  
> There is music in the midst of desolation  
> And a glory that shines upon our tears.  
> ~~Laurence Binyon 
> 
> Sequel to [**In the Time of Our Darkness**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222446)

Steve sought out Thor when he returned from New Asgard. Oddly enough, he wasn’t bothered by the weight gain, the unkempt appearance, the drunkenness, any of those things. He was bothered by what they covered. 

They covered a guilt so profound as to be debilitating. Survivor’s guilt and more. Thor felt guilty for not killing Thanos when he should have and for killing him when he shouldn’t have. Steve never blamed him and he didn’t think the others did either. Not really. 

He went to Thor’s quarters the first night he was back. Thor sat alone in the dark, bottle of whiskey opened on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Thor, how are you?” He sat down next to Thor on the sofa. 

“I’m fine, Rogers. Decided to take some time off, to enjoy life a little after battling for so long.”

“Good to know.” He didn’t believe a word of it and he knew that Thor knew he didn’t. “I thought I’d come by. It’s been a long time since we – since we had ice cream in Wakanda.” 

“Seems like a lifetime, doesn’t it?” Thor said and took another pull on his bottle. He offered the bottle to Steve. He took a drink, too, and handed it back. 

Steve knew from the slight blush that Thor was thinking of what they’d shared after the ice cream. 

Thor spoke again, his voice falsely light and unconcerned. “I guess I won’t have to worry about that happening any time soon now, will I?” 

Steve shrugged. “Why not?”

“I’m not the same.” 

“None of us are.”

“Are you trying to cheer me up? I am fine. Really, I’m fine. Fine.”

“No. I am trying to be your friend, your comrade. I was before all this happened and I still am.”

“Are you brave enough to fuck me now?”

Steve had no idea if this was what Thor really wanted, but he was sure it _was_ a test. 

“Not until you take a shower and comb that rat’s nest a little. You smell a little ripe.”

“Korg and Miek didn’t complain.” 

Steve laughed and reached for Thor’s bottle. “They’re a rockman and a bugman. I suspect they didn’t have quite the same intentions that I do.”

“Will you shower with me then? Wash my hair?” More testing? 

“I will.” 

Thor stood a little uncertainly. “Maybe when I’m a little less drunk?” 

“Yes. Or now. I won’t let you slip and fall.”

“I might barf on you. Not cool.” 

Steve shook his head. “Nope.” 

He stayed for a long while. Thor actually sobered up a bit and they talked about unimportant things, but Thor seemed to come out of himself a little and take an interest in something other than feeling sorry for himself. 

Steve rose to leave. He leaned down and kissed Thor’s cheek. “Call me when you’re ready for that bath.”

*

Steve didn’t say anything to anyone else. He’d never spoken of the relationship they’d had before and wasn’t about to start now. He found Thor to be a kind soul underneath his god persona. They had spent a lot of time together, most of it away from the others. 

He had been judged as a boy by what his body looked like and he refused to do that to anyone else. Thor was Thor and that was that. He had a big, loving heart and Steve cared about him more than he’d realized.

The next morning about ten, Steve was in the gym. Punching bags were still his go to for venting frustrations and pain. He was on his second one when he saw Thor in the double doorway. 

“Hi. Wanna punch something?” he called to Thor.

“No. I thought I’d ride the fake bicycle thing.” He climbed on the bicycle and rode while Steve grunted and punched the bag. They both ran out of steam at about the same time.

“Ready for that shower?” Steve asked, making sure to stay quite casual. 

“I think that might be a good idea. Not sure I have anything clean to wear.”

Steve thought fast. “I'm pretty sure there is a shop close by. Let me call.” 

He called a nearby men’s shop, guessed at the size and had Thor sent some jeans and decent pullover shirts. He had underwear, socks and the rest sent as well. He'd learned a little from being around Stark. He had it all added to the Avengers' account. The young man was eager to deliver everything they needed. 

“We'll wash your stuff in my apartment while we shower,” he said evenly and without any inflection.

They went to Steve's apartment and to his bedroom. Both of them removed their clothes, each careful not to stare at the other. Steve ran Thor's worn and smelly flannel pants and t-shirt into his washer. When he came back, Thor was adjusting the shower temperature. 

“Let me get us some towels,” Steve said as he got several fluffy white towels from the linen closet.

When he returned, Steve motioned for Thor to get into the shower first. He did and Steve stepped in behind him. 

The water was warm as it sluiced down both their bodies. 

Steve reached for the bottle of body wash and poured some into his hands. He nodded to Thor, silently asking permission. Thor nodded back. Steve began with those broad shoulders, rubbing slow circles until he felt Thor's shoulder's relax a little. Thor braced his hands on the shower wall to allow Steve to wash his back easier, sighing at the feeling. 

Steve placed a tiny kiss just below his neck in the back. He noticed the tiny shiver, but said nothing. Steve continued with his soapy hands, moving down Thor's back to his butt and legs. He felt his own arousal swelling as his hands cupped Thor's ass. He pressed his body against Thor. 

Thor stood stock still. Steve could almost hear his heart pounding. Thor turned around to face him. He held his hand open for some soap. Steve poured a large dollop into his hand. Thor began to wash Steve's chest, moving his hands gently over Steve’s smooth skin. 

Thor leaned close and kissed Steve, a soft, slow kiss. 

Other than to bathe each other, they did not touch one another other than the kisses. Thor was thorough, washing Steve's body, his arms, legs, and all the nooks and crannies between. When he was done, he found the shampoo and washed Steve's hair, then watched as the shower poured water over them both. Steve put his head back, luxuriating in the feel of the gentle rain shower head. 

Once rinsed, Steve finished washing Thor, not missing an inch of his body. Thor watched, looking quite fascinated by Steve's hands.

“Why are you doing this? Is it pity?” Thor asked Steve soaped up his thick, tangled beard. 

“No. It is what friends do.”

“Korg doesn't do this.” 

“I'm a different kind of friend. I – we became close a long time ago and I still care, Thor. Now shut up and kiss me again, then let me finish bathing you.” 

They finished bathing and got out. They dried one another with Steve's big towels, then Steve used a tangle comb and combed the knots and tangled out of Thor's hair and beard. He put a leave-in conditioner on them to help tame the wildness a little. 

“You don't look so much like a savage now,” Steve told him.

“We still have to fix this, don't we?” Thor ask, sounding a little panicked.

“We do, but not today. We will fix it, Thor. We will.”

“But I fucked it all up. I did that.”

Steve grabbed him by the wrists. “NO!” He wrapped his arms around Thor and found his mouth. “No, you didn't,” he murmured as he kissed him, a wild, hard kiss, a hungry kiss.

He pulled Thor over to his bed and lay beside him for only a moment when Thor reached for him. Steve rubbed himself against Thor's hip as he wrapped his hand around Thor's cock. Thor groaned as he thrust into Steve's tight grip. Steve put his mouth next to Thor's ear and whispered low, sweet words into it. 

“Come for me, Thor. I've missed you...”

Thor roared as he did come, spilling himself into Steve's hand and all over his own belly. 

Steve grabbed the lube from the drawer beside the bed, slathering it on himself and onto Thor, who'd turned onto his side. Steve held him close and slipped slowly inside, moving in a gentle rhythm until his own need and passion forced him go faster, deeper. He rolled Thor onto his belly to get a little more leverage, to be able to plunge deeper. 

He needed Thor more than he realized. “I've missed you,” he cried out as he came, clutching Thor to himself. 

They slept a little after, both knowing what they had was only a respite from their mission, but it was a much needed respite after all they’d been through. 

Things would get worse before they got better. Much worse.


End file.
